It is one thing that lives with us; you’d just realize the person you thought you had something good to do with is only using you to satisfy his/her selfish ends. Often, we hear people being used and dumped. He/she becomes nice and so friendly because of what they can possibly gain from you. Once they get it, your existence becomes a story. I assume nobody would want to wish this to even his farthest acquaintance, it is something
we hope never comes to us, yet it happens.
Sometimes we realize we’ve been busy chasing the wrong partner, spent our precious time believing in what we would have let go. As cruel and selfish it might sound, it does happen, most often than not, over and again, and to same people at different times.
Certain people are just good at using their fellow humans to achieve their selfish interest, the reason ranging from money, material needs, flirt, sexual desires, dating games etc. you always see it coming, it stares at you in the face, you read the writings on the wall yet you find it difficult to decipher. There are moments it comes clearly to you like a flash and in a bid to confuse yourself the more; you call it imagination resulting from stress. The undeniable fact remains; nothing happens to anyone without a readable sign, there is no way anybody in a relationship could not see the signs of “I’m being used”. He/she calls you only when there is boredom (and not loneliness), when there is no other option than to give you a call to keep him/her company. Verbal rains of love and affection takes the other of the day just because you are there present. The promise of never to leave you becomes the better part of the conversation only because expectations are cut off.
You are being used when your absence doesn’t make sense. That moment when you are away and he/she don’t seem to remember there is someone being missed. Putting a call across just to say hi becomes that which skips off memory. You keep reminding him/her you’ve never asked how the going is. It takes two to tango but definitely one to cheat. I’ve heard situations where one of the partners risks everything just to see that a relationship works while the other is busy taking advantage of that circumstance. There have been situations where both partners think they are playing smart by having external relationships outside there supposedly courtship. I choose to call this; games, since there is no commitment to it. You play games and your partner do the same then there is no one cheating the other. Where it hurts most is; “when monkey go dey work, baboon dey one side dey chop”. But before the going gets tough, why not watch out for those things that seem as if your intelligence is being operated on. You are only valued because of what you are able to produce. Your money is worth more than your happiness, your body is worth more than your joy, you are simply being used.
“I found out he doesn’t talk about me when discussing with his friends, even the bosom friends don’t know I exist, yet, he professes how much he loves me”. “Uncountable number of times I foot his bills, lends him money that was never paid, treats him as a lover, still, I don’t get a fair treatment as would a lover. I think it was long overdue for me to call it quit”. Those were the words of Laura. It is something that happens to most people most times. Some hope it will revive, perhaps a day when there will be a change of mind, a change of attitude, a change of reasoning. And they keep hoping for eternity, if it doesn’t come they only end up committing suicide. If you’ve seen the signs coming, why not take the advantage of quitting early and save yourself all those heartbreaks inherent to dead hopes.
Whoever values you will stand by you through thick and thin. He/she reassures you when it seems you are falling off the track. You are being talked about positively in your absence and your presence very much adored.
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