NEGATIVE INFLUENCE CAN DESTROY YOUR MARRIAGE

“Let me tell you Abby, if I were in your shoes, I will not take the kind of bullshit James hands over to you! How can you just sit there and allow him walk all over your rights in your own home and still do the submissive wife act? If I must remind you, the Beijing conference has empowered women to have equal rights with men. So I don’t see reason why you should just sit there crying over this situation while your husband continues to step on your toes by
bringing his relatives to stay in your house. You must resist this high handedness of his!” Kemi said angrily with an ugly scowl masking her pretty face as she stares at her friend Abigail in disdain.

Kemi is boisterous and an outspoken person while Abigail is docile and tactful in her approach to issues. They have been best of friends since their university days and shared everything in common. They have never hidden anything from each other, not even the men they slept with. They continued this close friendship when they got married, but recently, it is beginning to conflict with the ideals in her home.

Her husband has accused Kemi of feeding her with ideologies that are capable of tearing down their matrimonial home. He told her bluntly that he no longer wants her to continue her close friendship with Kemi. Abigail is torn between sustaining her husband’s love and breaking the close relationship she has with her best friend of so many years. How should she handle this? She asked herself as she pondered over this dilemma.

Being Best Friends Forever (BFF) with someone you have known for a long time, probably all your life is an admirable and sweet thing but it should never be at the detriment of a budding relationship or marriage.

It takes two to tango and three is definitely a crowd! So be careful when involving close friends in your marital affairs or issues between you and your lover. In as much as you are close to this friend, some things should not be divulged to them else you expose your relationship to negative influences that is capable of bringing down the roof of your solid home.

A lot of so-called friendships have wrecked havoc in most homes and in most marriages. This also includes allowing in-laws and family members to have undue say in what goes on in your marriage.

Unfortunately, in this part of the world, when crisis arise, outside influences will always try to wedge themselves between them, at times, with shady advice and cloudy guidance.

We continually hear sad tales of the harm extended families have inflicted on marriages just because they were given access to it. We have seen mother-in-laws driving out their daughter-in-laws out of their matrimonial homes just because their sons gave them access to influence their homes unduly. There have been stories of ladies snatching their best friends’ hubby who was gracious enough to welcome and accommodate them.

Please get it right that nobody is condemning you to for having a close friend you can always confide in and perhaps share one or two meaningful advice with. The point is that you must be careful whom your confidants are and ascertain the credibility of that person in giving you sound advice that will stir you in the right direction.

Women are usually the ones that fall culprit to bad influences of their best friends. They love the BFF idea but it’s wise to be cautious and know when to draw the line. Sometimes your best friend might mean well and want the best for you but the truth is that what is good for the goose might be injurious to the gander. Just because your best friend did this in her own home and it worked doesn’t mean it has to work for you. Be careful whom you take advice from and if possible filter it to fit into your own setting.

Once you are in a serious relationship or married, it is best you begin to close the gap of sharing confidence with your best friend especially in private things that go on between you and your husband. The same thing goes for the men. Certain men can’t let go off their mother’s apron strings. They still run home to their mother when they have issues with their wives. This should not be encouraged in any way.

Even for the best loving relationships, each partner should understand that there has to be a level of censorship in the kind of information that goes out of your home to the outside world. If someone is really committed in helping you solve the problem in your home, they will let you handle your own personal problems and only stand by to encourage you as you weather the storm.

You should always bear in mind that the most important individual in your relationship is you and your partner. Eliminating negative outside influences and third parties will not only rid you of unnecessary stress, it will strengthen the bond within your relationship by leaps and bounds.

            Culled from Sunday mirror.