Saturday, 11 May 2013

MAKING YOUR MARRIAGE WORK A SECOND TIME



If she had stayed up till now, it would have been three years Christine walked out of her marriage of 15 years that produced two kids. She hasn’t faired any better for the past 24+ months and has not enjoyed the company of a better half. The husband on the other hand had wished it never happened and reconciliation didn’t work either.

It all started in 2010; just as we were about to take our dinner, walked in this beautiful lady heavily pregnant. My husband had a business trip so we weren’t expecting him for the next two days. I thought perhaps we had a new neighbour who came for familiarization visit. She was looking quite innocent and had her pregnancy approaching delivery.

Good evening ma, I guess you must be Mrs Whiston-she enquired. With momentary astonishment, I answered to the positive. Why would a colleague have chosen to visit outside the working hours, more so, now that he is out of town – I thought within me?

Well, I came to see him; can you kindly fetch him for me? That was when it dawned on me that she was neither a colleague nor a neighbour. I offered her a drink anyway but the look in her face could easily tell she was in no mood to entertain such. I should be on my way but tell him Cheryl came whenever he comes back, thanks for your kind gesture, she stated.

The best I could do for her considering her present condition was to see her off to her car, giving her that feminine support. There was no need to bother him while he was away, he should be back in a couple of days and he can always tell me what went wrong. His status in the office befits that of a boss and a senior colleague; therefore, expecting him to settle a brawl between junior colleagues wouldn’t be a bad idea. She must have come for some serious problems which made her want to keep it to herself.

Three days later, my lovely husband came home and the celebration of a successful business trip took place in the beach. While we were sun bathing, I remembered he had a visitor while he was away. “Cheryl came the day you travelled”. The message dropped like a bomb to his ear but as the smart guy he is, he replied, ‘O Cheryl, what did she say? Guess I will see her at work tomorrow’. That was the end of the discussion about her because my sub-conscious mind would have convinced me she is a colleague.

Two months later, while I was going through his phone, a message came from the same Cheryl which prompted me to know what she wants this time.

“Guess what honey, your baby look just like you”, the message read. I thought I was dreaming but I had to summon courage to delete it. Things went on normal until a week later when I heard him discussing on phone over the welfare of the baby. Only then did I have the conviction things have gone awry under my very nose. His infidelity was unfair, much worse that he could keep such secret from me for such a long time. Even when he had no option than to admit, he still denied.

To me, that was the end of the marriage. Efforts made by friends and family members to reconcile us was futile. How can I live with a man I cannot trust? Someone I have bestowed love on for over 15 years. I think becoming a single parent will do much good. Afterall, he has a woman to keep him company and a child to make the marriage work. Why should I force myself to admitting what is not admissible?

Two years after the break-up, he came pleading and I was left with no option than to swallow my pride. Yes we are back as one small happy family. I doubt if that mistake will ever repeat itself. At least, for the fact that he tried a second marriage with the girl next door and it didn’t work, he would avoid trading that path a second time. The thought of another failed married will be a reinforcement to our married life – Christine narrated.

The case of Christine is not peculiar to her alone, there are many of there with similar stories to tell but the fear of a second heartbreak by the same man would harden their heart the more. Swallow you pride and stage a comeback. I’m sure it will work this time.

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