Every couple, when entering into an intimate relationship and
hopefully before marriage should have the infidelity conversation. The
understanding of infidelity is quite blurred as some may not consider
“emotional infidelity” as a breach of trust but it actually is. Both physical
and emotional intimacy with somebody other than your partner is infidelity.
Physical intimacy or sexual relations outside an intimate relationship is
distrust and betrayal, while emotional intimacy can be emotional dependence
where quality time, attention and romantic love is spent with a person with
whom you are not in a relationship with. In both cases, the other partner in
the relationship is cheated and betrayed accounting to infidelity.
Most people in relationships would agree that commitment
means never going astray in the terms obtainable for a healthy relationship. In
a recent survey, it was found that many people admit to being unfaithful at
some point in their life. It is surprising that the married cheated more than
the singles. The reason for this varies from person to person but the single
factor that is relevant to both genders is the aversion to commitment. With the
romance coming to an end after marriage, many people cannot reconcile
themselves to the mundane life. They want the same attraction back which is not
possible in the partner with whom they have spent their last year together.
A nagging wife or a non-caring husband for example can make
the spouse look for another person to get back to life. In the case of other
people, it is the group tendency, societal or peer pressure that drives them to
commit adultery. In case a buddy does it and shows it as something fun, there
are many men who cannot resist it. The same goes for women as some friends make
their mates cheat just for kicks.
Before you decide to cheat on your partner, learn to deal
with the thoughts of infidelity by figuring out what is lacking in your
relationship and bringing thoughts that could cost you love of your current
partner and family. While contemplating cheating, think of its dire
consequences, think of how it will hurt your partner and everyone else around
you. If children are involved, think about how those actions will influence
their life and their mental development. Infidelity does not only involve you
and your partner, it impinges on your family’s mentality and tears them apart.
The best solution is to locate the problems in your relationship that makes you
consider looking outside. A popular sayings goes; “a problem identified is a
problem half solved”. Change that cheat thought to something like; what is the
best way of solving this problem so everyone becomes happy.
To deal with the ideas of infidelity, the best option is to
communicate your feelings to your partner. Explain that you are experiencing
some difficulties in the relationship. Tell him/her what is missing in the
relationship and try to voice your present feelings. Do it in a way that it
does not hurt your partner’s emotions and try to clear your doubts as much as
possible so that the two of you can decide an appropriate future action (whether
to make things work or put an end to it). The fact is that it is better to put
an end to an existing relationship peacefully than just being unfaithful.
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