You always hear
people say things like; after the rain comes the shine. It is that time when
you have gone through a harrowing experience or trying to recover from a broken
heart, it may look like it will never but believe you me, time does heal all
wounds.
Wallowing in self
pity is never the best way to get over heartbreaks but we do it afterall. Some
express this in variety of ways: cry, spending night staring into darkness,
confusion, loss of concentration, you name it. Broken relationships always
leave bitter tastes in our mouth when we remember them and for some people, it
takes years before they get over the pain and move on.
All the same, I
will start making a clean break and creating a fresh start is the best way to
forget the past and move on with your life. There is no need crying over a split
milk or indulging in vengeful thoughts that will create bitterness in your
heart and these things have a way of reflecting in your attitude to others
thereby avoiding them as much as you can. Make up your mind to start afresh and
be determined not to make the same mistakes twice. One of the ways to avoid
this is by ensuring you don’t choose the next person just because they happen
to look or act like your ex. This usually have a boomeranging effect on the
long run. You will end up not being truly satisfied with that person because
you will keep comparing him/her with your ex and most times, they fall off the
pedestal which you have placed them.
In creating a
fresh relationship, ensure you are healed of all hurts from the former
relationship. There’s no need carrying an excess baggage full of complexities
and inhibitions to the love zone of a new relationship. No one likes to hear
how wonderful your ex was when you were still dating. Be sure you are totally
healed from a broken heart before jumping into a fresh relationship.
The next thing to
do is to build up your friendship data base. Most of us find romance at work or
through our network of acquaintances. If this isn’t working for you, you may
need to extend your friendship circle. The best way to do this is to spend more
time on leisure activities that you enjoy and meet other individuals who like
the same thing. The more friends you have, the more chances you have of meeting
that special one. Try meeting new friends by changing the circle of friends you
had with your ex. That way, you will not easily run into your former lover or
make the mistake of dating any of their friends.
When you have cast
your net into the ocean of new friends, I’m sure you will definitely catch a
big fish! So don’t develop cold feet when a new date comes up no matter how
trivial the date might be. It might be an invitation to a lunch or special
dinner date. Accept it graciously and prepare your mind to have a lovely time.
First dates can be frightening and fraught, so don’t expect too much. All you
really need to establish is that you are comfortable with the other person and
don’t feel physically repelled by them. If you’ve had a good time on the date,
there’s no harm in professing through text or phone call of how much you enjoyed
it. I’m sure a second date wouldn’t be far fetched. Many ladies are always
afraid of doing this in a bid to exonerate themselves from appearing too
desperate or cheap but I tell you, the way you carry yourself thereafter is
what influences the guy’s impression of how you feel. A gentle ‘would you like
to meet up again sometime’? should be enough to establish if there’s any spark
between the two of you. If you don’t want to meet again, its good manners to
gently let the other person know the truth.
New relationships
are always sweet and exciting at the beginning. Enjoy the feeling of being in
lover again and make sure that this time you put in your best and eliminate all
the mistakes you made in your previous relationships that could cause a break-up
in the new one.
Culled from Sunday
Mirror
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