It is no longer news that
just as the issue of economic melt-down has become a global challenge, so is
the task of getting ‘Mr/Miss Right’ among singles. It is not peculiar to any part
of the world as that which is good for the geese would also be good for the gander.
Take a survey of
marriageable singles and ask why they are still single, I bet you, majority of
the answers would be; searching for Mr/Miss right. I think the right answer
should be; I’m not adequately prepared and is yet to come to terms with my unrealistic
expectations. The irony of life is that anyone is an imperfect being endlessly
waiting for the perfect human being who will suit their personality without
much effort from their own side.
The more detailed you are
about marriage and relationship, the easier for you; time spent on preparation
for marriage is an investment. The difference between success and failure in
marriage is determined by the level of information we have as singles.
As challenging as the
preparation for marriage is, it cannot be compared to the long time marriage
relationship and its challenges. It is more challenging staying married than
getting married. Success in marriage is a series of right choices, your habits
and choices now determine your marriage and life. While making these choices,
fill your heart with a sense of destination in the marriage.
Some singles think they
will only be happy or well taken care of when they get married to a particular
person, for instance, a pastor, the best looking lady, the most intelligent and
well placed man in the society, the happening guy, etc. remember, character is
the decisive test of maturity. You must be very observant of that person’s
character, family background and attitude. A healthy relationship in the
nuclear family of your partner makes for a healthy relationship in the marital
home. Check out how he, as a man, treats his mother. Is he tender, loving and
understanding or rude and demanding? Does he shout his mother down? How does
this man treat you before marriage? Does he talk to you with respect? Is he on
time for appointments?
As much as the above
aspects are to be seriously considered, do not forget that we are dealing with
an imperfect human being and not some hero of a romantic novel. Everyone has
shortcomings and son e of these would have to be overlooked, both yours and
those of your prospective partner. Besides, a perceived weakness can present an
opportunity to grow and if your prospective mate shows a desire to improve, you
have to help.
Many singles look out for
compatibility tie but do you know we can all be great actors, especially, when
we are trying to impress. Strange as it may seem, it is possible to be in
courtship with someone, get married and later find out that you did not really
know that person so well. Singles should also realize that to a certain level,
all couples are incompatible and marriage itself is purely a ground of
differences in views, needs and values. Compatibility is determined by how
adaptable both of you are and not how identical. The search for Mr/Miss Right
will be less traumatic if couples realize the above. When an individual is well
adjusted in life, he/she will most likely be compatible with anybody.
Compatibility is more of a personality ‘fit’. Instead of asking; do we agree on
everything? A better question would be, what happens when we disagree?
You are safer getting
married to your friend, even when both of you were not friends before the
beginning of the relationship. You should not get married without being each
other’s friends. In a truly successful marriage, couples are good friends and
enjoy each others company. It is difficult to sustain a close relationship in
marriage when couples are not friends. Do you respect and esteem each other
highly and value each other’s opinion?
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